（唐）贺知章《咏柳》英译，请各位高人品评

lengshan

（唐）贺知章：《咏柳》



碧玉妆成一树高，

万条垂下绿丝绦。

不知细叶谁裁出，

二月春风似剪刀。



Ode To A Willow



The big willow tree seems decorated with jade,

Whose twigs droop down like so many a green silk belt.

I didn’t know who had its slender leaves made,

Until the February vernal wind like a scissors I felt.

keatslover

我也来凑个热闹吧:

The willow stands in emerald arrayed,
Its tender branches trailing like frills green.
Who could cut out its slender leaves, I ween?
The vernal wind breathes like scissors-blade.

都是五音步，比如第一句是抑扬格五音步，韵脚是abba.

lengshan

致敬！版主的是个不错的版本，trail一词用得很好。

keatslover

这个版本不满的就是有古词的出现，但是有意思的是字数和原诗一致。应该还有比较朴实的译法。但是关键都是要简洁，富有形象和诗味。

endeavor

Ode To The Willow

In emerald, the willow dresses aloud,
Extending her green rods to the ground.
The tailor of her slender leaves not found,
The scissoring vernal wind is all around.